This is that sit-down comedy, that discount lobotomy That blissed-out process of a risk-touting wanna be The pissed-off public wants to diss our economy I tried to love it but these kids are so bourgeois Don’t think a company would want to take control of me I’ve been a rebel but I’ve never done it formally Please don’t get near me when I get on my McCandless shit Before I do some things that both of us will soon regret I trust the government to help sometimes Make policies that don’t amount to petty crimes Headphones when I hear the cries I point to every piece of news as a sign of the times I miss thinking the pinnacle of culture was Amanda Bynes But what the fuck do I know Call your logician because I’m feeling like a rhino Are we driven by chasing our bliss or fearing pain? I listened to the weatherman and I got myself caught in the rain Yeah I’m a slave to the timbre When I’m bout to relax I go to take another gander I keep humming while I brush my teeth I keep humming while I brush my teeth Now I’m pacin’ down the hall Throwing glances at the mirror trying not to see myself at all I keep humming while I brush my teeth I keep humming while I brush my teeth I’ve got a new lease on life with an option to buy Let’s split a beer, you and I, to my career suicide If I was born in a different level century I could have been a stonemason or an omnipresent energy Instead I’m stuck between deciding what my hands can do Think I’m pretend adult but still the end result is food We’re killing time until time gets to killing I’ll cover up my eyes with two bright and shiny shillings Spiritually laughing, I’m a Hare Krishna chanting clown I’m walking like a winner in my Merry Christmas hand-me-downs Got about a thousand pairs of khaki shorts I play Quidditch, Go, and Bocce Ball, I only like the tacky sports So I keep talking even when nobody wants to hear it Sometimes I summarize like a Twenty-One Pilots lyric I tend to think the best while I’m brushing my teeth When I can’t interrupt myself and all that I can do is breathe

I elect to permanently opt out of reasons Choosing turns by the streets and changing outfits by the season I’m cuttin’ out the bated breath anticipation I’ll save money on generic over name-brand validation Reconfigure for replacement isotopes Reading Byron like it’s Buzzfeed and faces like they’re horoscopes Ask for advice and ignore every bit of help And go to restaurants with only 3 and a half stars on Yelp I want a cardboard box as my personal abode And to sit silently inside and communicate in morse code I wanna literally set fire to the media I want my name somewhere on every page of Wikipedia I wanna travel the world and pass it off as touristy I wanna disappear and hire spies to find out who missed me I wanna do one thing perfectly forever And acknowledge with a knowing nod all alternate endeavors So God can sprinkle his fairy dust, give us carrots and asparagus So professor emeritus, lesson plan was to care for us Now retired from miracles we're not sure if he's there for us Never thought I was spiritual til it was looking so perilous Now my passion is blasphemy, putting rocks in my pockets Just as came the orangutan with the locks to the rockets If we're acting the same we can be the pawns in this game We're keeping history tame and detaining our common shame What we're looking to do is move into simple With a childlike life where a type of crisis is pimples With the stakes of debates as the kind of music we're into While we're predetermined to sin given the figures we're akin to I want rid of all volumes, seeking quieter, shorter and less I wanna spin in the ballroom content that I've done my best I want the wood that my goodness and resolution can call a nest I want a tepid acceptance of present tense and all the rest

I never lost any sleep to the prizewinner Coffee’s for dinner, swallow the bitter in the vibrations Call myself South Side ‘bout five nations I’m still catching up on marijuana metaphors And acting like I still actually play Nintendo 64 Unh, settin’ fire to a barstool All the bad habits didn’t iron out in art school All the mad rabbits in the static of a cartoon Call it sad, tragic, that I know I didn’t start cool You'll find my ink inside my cashmere pajamas I only think in panoramas I bounce proud from the third size stage with the seminal long hair The eyes all glazed from ephemeral lawn chairs Raise the stakes, then it’s miss it or risk it, well I bet Action Bronson beards that I could braise a better brisket Swig that gin, it’s the tonic to night terrors The type I’m in, I only fight when I fight scared You mistook your mantra for a motto Now whatcha doin’ to me (x3) You mistook your mantra for a motto You put your problems in a place where you can’t see I feel on top of myself, I set reminders for my marriages Strapped into the flatbed no matter where the carriage is Eye on the horizon, no guidance if I care it is Amber is the color of the energy I’m buried in The human day is overrated What a waste getting proud of the towns we created Encounter your coyote for your moment of holy bliss Or swallow that payote to get back to your opennessness Relax, it’s just your only life You better take your turn with the golden knife I only smoke what I need, I only work when I breathe, I only follow my peace, I only sleep in clean sheets I’ve only got 8 minutes to meditate I talk fast and put it onto my dinner plate These bones they won’t get intimidated You belong, long, long, long, okay (x whatever)

I'm very much myself these days I’m killing all my darlings Helpless to the atmospheric pressure changes We blindly trust cartography It’s a rarer breed, the trauma of ex-prodigies When you’re caught up in the process You don’t stop to earn apologies We try not to decide until We run out of options The holes in our shoes grow as deep as Those in our pockets We look for solace from an oak in a meadow Interpret for guidance I missed eight calls in three hours I think I left it on silent I never had a thing for faces, I’ve been running short as of late We take the measurements, we never fully integrate, There’s a good deal at that one place, the reviews look great I guess we’d better, I don’t have any clothes for this weather Another memory occurs to me of some kind of ritual The smell of cheap wine lingers, the tender pulse of the habitual I smile backwards, I’m still waiting for the main event The silence grows, we turn away from it Chorus: If I came back to the land we knew Would you recognize me, would you recognize me She hasn’t seen my face in so long Does she know where I belong? And I sing of changes in a sea of change There’s only one thing that can ever stay the same, stay the same I think I might have been the fire in that Larry Levis poem The trail of ashes catches through the wasted drops of gas Could every house we pass really be a home? How about that And you’ve got someone on your cell, you talk as though I were alone Admit you’re in it for the Insta, your scrolling don’t look like Kerouac’s I’ll watch the mileage but we’ve lost track of the parallax And you know better than turning to words, that’s good tact Now that’s why I’ve got friends in the imperfect, not every ending is worth it Late last night I finally got around to crying And I can’t dance anymore unless I think about dying Time passes like white noise I smell the air in my nostrils and watch the dust descend You freehanded your tattoo that states “All bad things must come to an end” I read that swallowing handfuls eyes elsewhere That was Memphis, I’m still telling myself that I went through hell there At once aware of all the people I’ve been proving right That probably means we should keep moving by tonight If I came back to the land we knew Would you recognize me, would you recognize me You haven’t seen my face in so long Do you know where I belong? And I sing of changes in a sea of change I only want to find the strength to start again, start again And it’s the best that I can do The greatest curse is to be nothing but the sum of your actions Why should we make a lasting effort if the end result is passive And there may not be an answer for the questions that I'm asking But I don't know how not to ask them I'm impressed you thought you ever knew the land I came to rest on “I don't care” when I just didn't understand Maybe life is just a beautiful mistake And our world is the one we make

You can't remember every word you read You can’t embody everything you like You can't believe everybody you meet But you try like you think you might Mind's on fire with the blips of desire Til you find that you setting aside time to cry Wild and tired with the way that you're wired And you add more lines when you try to untie You watch and you judge when you're stuck on a bus You've got big plans for the ones you can trust You're sure that you've learned when it turns out great But you know at any moment you might leave the state There's a lot you don't know about you Or maybe you do and you're all that's left Anything to keep you distracted Anything that doesn't end with death Watch the odds that you’ll lose your bets Call the God that you work to imagine Deeply entrenched in the stench of your cigarettes Casually passing through paths of compassion Saddle and bag cast, you’re back to the road Claim your stake on a man to aspire to Easy as that, you don’t know where to go So you’re up on the internet ordering out Thai food You take a blind date with a city Where you bumble and gut-punch your way to a scene Wondering why you still feel so shitty And you turn to the person you were as a teen If I made it through then, I’m invincible Back to the blackboard, mapping my principles Nothing good in figuring I’m above it Just another way I gotta learn what love is

Now I say this one doesn’t count because I’m out of practice Learn to pass to myself on the asphalt whacking the hackysack My hat don’t fit backwards, you bet it left me baffled So I told my local haberdasher, he just said I talk to fast Still requests I pay with cash, a class act But better than blasting The National tracks with my 07 cognac Do seven bar rhyme schemes strike you as tacky Or are meta rappers primed to become the machine in time Let’s move on to the soul searching, quit food cold turkey I do still drink my Ovaltine, derivatives of old working In sinister tones, I never read Ulysses but I might when I’m grown, I’ve learned to trust in the tomes, I wish that David Foster Wallace ever learned to be alone, cause Hey, we’re all getting there; Are you aware that these days they’ve got Music on the radio? Well, that is, if you dare to Outsource an hour or so. And to what end? I dunno. Now I forget what I was trying to remember Or if I'm speaking with an asterisk I wonder what I'm doing after this The cool part’s coming back to me, so that’s a start; I think I’m early to the wrong party, don’t take it harsh, I find that kind of Fun too hard; but we can choose to act clueless In the face of the fantasy of adult coolness, we can do this The conversation turns to code for where to elope, photos in Nat Geo Traveler have me feeling pretty woke, we eat Jalapenos at oaxaca, porque no los dos, Is That shit age appropriate, does living remind you of death Can you forgive yourself for all the moments out of motion Children run to catch their strollers and they’ll probably get close You're sorta there to form a narrative, but that’s at the most And if you care about the fairness, just correct as a ghost, We'll Fix it in post, a lovely limbo inbetween the overlords The oeuvre of a couple of cringe comics meant to underscore What you already know, your favorite’s on the menu so Savor it for the hope of when you wanna let go

I had everything by myself I had apathy for acceptance I had words I knew how to write I had messages end on best wish I had friends I could call on Tuesday I had wealth beyond wine and rubies I had somewhere that felt like home, yeah, I had teeth like the stars in movies But I told myself what I wanted The meaning I make could come with a place I imagined the beauty in feeling lonely Now it’s just another look on a face I don't think I can close my mouth I don't think it could fit just right I don't think I can do this too long I don't think I can sleep tonight Jesus give me good teeth Jesus give me my smile back Jesus give me good teeth Jesus give me my smile back Jesus give me relief Jesus get me on my own path Jesus give me relief Jesus get me on my own path Walkin’ round on Halloween wasn’t much fun I found I was surrounded by people I could be I didn’t have a mask, but I figure I could use one Why does it all have to matter to me? I don’t like who I am indoors Sitting recycling the clicks on my bookmarks Now I’m always on the street, but I’m booksmart Now I take my own word, I’ve got a good heart When did discomfort turn to pain I take my retainer and keep on running But I’ll never run out of bad nights I'm know I’ve always got another one coming It’s psychosomatic, this boy needs therapy Who knew I could be scared of me, pure hilarity That's the might of the mind in time, the incisors lost to the grind

We had a few long nights in a short week We’d have a real long time where we don’t speak Read your way to make potato soup dinner And I listened to you sing as we made jokes about Hitler So we’d operate on different clocks, place each other in a box Tracked your rotation and made a map at every equinox I don’t know when you became so damn human The truth got truer and and soon we were consuming Every word that we could find a way to make relevant Seemingly for the hell of it when we were both developing A new envelopment, curled up under my covers Felt the presence of you next to me, a way to be with one another It’s cute how we pretended we weren’t nervous On the day that I meant to mention the feelings that had surfaced I felt it was polite that I ask before I kiss you And, well, you said yes, didn’t you? Am I falling in love again Am I falling in love again So is that just how things go So is that just how things go Am I falling in love again We had a few long nights in a short week We were all primed up for it to go bleak It was a classic case of transatlanticism We had our own tickets, we'd made separate decisions You were working at that hip New England summer camp Turned into a series of stationery and post stamps You worked hard, I wrote your name, I waited long, The message came, don’t feel the same I tend to act so dismissive but mentally you're the missus You're Skyping me from the kitchen Like we can ignore the distance Pretend that it's not an issue, I blow through a box of tissues I have to ring back a second time just to say that I miss you Fuck, I’m so sick of saying goodbye Go back to bed alone again, done it hundreds of times I can’t believe that you were just a person that I knew Well, you still are, but now you’re something else, too

I can’t believe I worry if I’ve had it too easy What kind of lessons you about to learn at Chuck E Cheese? I heard my Doodles getting mixed reviews, I stopped drawing for prevention I’d bang my head against the wall so I could get the attention I don’t know what kind I wanted, I still don’t really know what I like I’d have them once and say my favorite candy’s Mike and Ike’s Cause they were no one else’s that I knew, I’d barely tell I was lying too I plagiarized my poetry, I couldn’t tell what else to do Now I’m repping self-awareness next to godliness Spewing armchair philosophy for a sycophantic nod at best I rent my own books now and I buy my own shirts But I’m always lost on the subway and I can’t figure why my molars still hurt It’s tricky remembering the shape of the love that you receive We’re all holding hands in a circle, watch us shining so brilliantly I close my eyes and run my fingers through my hair I’m alive and this is real and I’m okay and I’m here I miss trying so hard to make you feel proud, And I can’t believe that I just said that out loud I’m guessing that you never fully realized what you risked When you told me at 7 years old that God didn’t exist I would have liked a kind of faith, not just a unfed predilection A kind of vibrancy of life beyond detection I wonder would have I have done if I knew a master plan? When you divorced, well I was still too young to understand But you believed in both of us and showed it ardently I find it easy to feel alone, but you made it hard for me You won’t believe the kind of time I spend devising up my Magic deck But you drove me to the tournaments every weekend like it was AcaDec I can’t believe we got to be the ones you sang to I guess this is the only way I know how to say thank you So thank you for doing your best, it’s more than I could ever do And thank you for everything, literally everything, that’s all on you